My Nature

when I'm alone at home,
sitting at my desk,
I get strange thoughts.
I ask myself,
what I'm doing in this world,
what I'm doing here
and why I exist.

What would be,
if I didn't exist,
if I never existed?
Would it influence anybody?
Or would it change anything in the world?
I'm sure,
that wouldn't!

Why am I wasting my time any longer?
Why don't I put an end to it
and say goodbye to this f***ing world?

I just don't know,
I can't find an answer.

Maybe it is laziness
or cowardice,
which will keep me here for some more years.
It keeps me here,
until somebody up there or down there decides,
when I have to go.

Just like he decided
that I would be born in this wourl.